Messages to Sexual and Gender Minorities and their family - Family Relationship

In the past, transgender was treated as a mental illness called Gender Identity Disorder. However, nowadays transgender has been stopped being treated as a mental illness and has been renamed as Gender Dysphoria. Transgender people only experience an inconsistency between their gender identity and physical sex, having no difference in their intelligence and mental ability compared with other people. There is no need for medication. Instead, allowing them to live a life of their own is the best way to help them.

There is no evidence showing that negative experience or traumas in the past contribute to the formation of a transgender identity. In fact, many transgenders notice their identity difference with other cisgender people when they are still little, but this may not be noticed or accepted by people around them at that time.

There is not any relationship between parenting and gender identity. However, forcing transgender people to live as a gender identity of their assigned sex may create greater impacts and even lead to mental health issues.

A happy life does not come from sticking to a life plan expected by the mainstream society. Transgenders will become more distressed if they are forced to suppress themselves and get in line with the social norms, having marriage and giving birth to a child. Actually, transgenders can also enjoy romantic relationships and get married. True happiness will come along with having a partner who accepts themselves.

Indeed, transgender people still suffer from discrimination and inconvenience in different aspects of life. However, with more public education and development of the movement for equality, transgender people are accepted by more people. Meanwhile, support from the family is the most important to them. Although they may face some difficulties finding a job, some employers are also willing to recruit them. In other words, it’s still possible for them to secure a job.

Transgender is not a crime. It’s not a fault of you or your child. If your relatives and friends don’t know much about transgender, you may prevent from disclosing the gender identity to them at the moment. You may also consider explaining it to those who show a higher acceptance. Keep calm and don’t rush.

Don’t force yourself to accept your child in haste. Accept that you are shocked and astonished by your child’s coming out. It can be something beyond your understanding. You may sincerely express your feelings to your child, telling them that it takes some time to digest the news. It is a long process for a parent to accept a transgender child. Take care of yourself first and try to explore more only when you feel you are ready.